[LAST SHAKEDOWN AT CAPRICORN SANCTION;] August 02, 2003, 01:12 [Transcript from The Trial of Vienna vs. Narcissism:] [MEMBERS PRESENT:] Portuguese Widowmaker, Board Comissioner, Presiding Tim Patterson, Board Commissioner Walt Disney, Deputy Board Commissioner Pune Bine, president board commissioner Nvatalie Yours, controlling minimum duplicate diplomat Clogged pores, representative, Salvation City Union Inc. Paul Buxton, chief inspector Commisioner Acetone: And The convicted has been an enemy of the Narcissism circuit for 15.5 to 18 years. He has also made several...I mean, god, look at all of these infractions against the board…twenty…forty one-fifties, Mr. Vienna’s mere presence could be filed as an offense. Good lord. PRESIDING BOARD COMMISSIONER WIDOWMAKER: Yes. Offenses. that’s what you're in here for, Mr. Vienna. We'll then go to your social factors and your prior infractions against Narcissism and then we'll go to the second part of the hearing. which is your post-conviction factors and your defunction evaluation. That will be handled by Deputy Commissioner Disney on my far right. Let me say this, off the record, Mr. Vienna. This board will not stand for any more of your Viennagram’s. I don’t care what The Karma Police or Chief Carlton Abbott say. You will boil for me, Vienna. No salvation. (ALL ASTHMA SPIES CROAK AND APPLAUD) UNI-DENT SNAKE: Narcissism has directed the Board of Narcissism to summon before him the said Alex Vienna and admonish him to abandon the said opinion and submit to the vulnerable 4; (Control. Contrive. Contract. Constrict.) and, in case of his refusal to obey, the Commissary of the Office of Egotism is to enjoin him, before notary and witnesses, a command to abstain altogether from defending this opinion and even discussing it.... BOARD COMMISIONER PATTERSON: Of course every defendant is presumed to be innocent, but in this particular case it is quite apparent, from the beginning, from the time he was arrested, that the burden shifted to him, placing him in the position of proving his innocence. Let me say this: this is the crime of the century. INSPECTOR BUXTON: There isn't any doubt about it! Let's face this, because this case has come down to common, ordinary bloated horse sense. We are going to look at the evidence given by each witness and say to ourselves, what would be the natural way for that person to act? Against that we are confronted with a lot to technicians and experts who at so much a day give us their opinions of things. So I am appealing to your common, ordinary ‘coca cola’/’pepsi cola’ inherent American bloated horse sense. I say at the beginning that this is the crime of the century and it is the worst crime and the lowest type of crime ever committed. But it is not the defendant who is guilty of it? Can he be stopped? SHOULD he be stopped? PRESIDING BOARD COMMISSIONER WIDOWMAKER: ORDER! I am unimpressed with Mr. Vienna’s continuity of character. Many are for law. Many more will follow. He must be censured for the safety of Narcissism. The board can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. 'The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless.’ Therefore, you are deemed a hazard to the sanctity of Narcissism and Egotism. You must be deactivated. (SUDDENLY; The Karma Police burst through the double doors of Narcissism) (The board disbands but are shot down by karma snipers) (The Portuguese Widowmaker is taken in Karma custody) (Many Asthma Spies self-destruct) (The chains of narcissism are taken off of Alex Vienna) (All sinners sleep in beds) note: Do not deny anything; simply take what you like. Viva! Viva! Viennagram! Live, Vienna, Live!